Not Even Close to Almost Famous

“If you ever get lonely, just go to the music store and visit your friends.”-Penny Lane, Almost Famous

I started freelancing the same year that movie came out. A friend taped it off PPV for me since it was about a magazine writer. I watched it every day during a long lunch break between scouring the Internet for writing opportunities and creating press releases and newsletter copy for local businesses. Aside from the fact that it featured a tiny part by my fave musician, Peter Frampton, it showed the writer’s life to be hopeful, delusional and frustrating all at the same time. Virginity-popping threesomes and epic rock tours aside, it still resonates with me today; the main character is constantly worried about deadlines and getting the job done.

I remembered the movie quote above when I could finally go to the bookstore, pick up a magazine and see my name. It became more relevant as I gained writer friends online; I began to look for their bylines too. Magazine articles became books, and I loved each rare time I found a friend’s name on a shelf.

Now, 95 percent of my writing community is online and those names are bountiful in the stacks. Last time I went to Barnes & Noble, I bought four books, each one by someone I already knew via Absolute Write, Twitter or Facebook. I learn from them, admire them and feel like I’m in on something special. It’s a delicious thrill, one that I’m eager to share whenever my book finally finds an agent, a publisher, and a space on that shelf. My time is coming. Until then, I have social media, texting and e-mail.

But when I feel lonely, I still go to the bookstore and visit my friends.

Living in the Country

I've been thinking about self-sufficiency and country living this winter. No insult to the wonderful Mr. Foxworthy, but there is a difference between redneck behavior and country behavior. It may be slight, but it's there: the absence of "Yee-hah!" shouted while doing any of these actions. So, if you happen to let loose that universal Redneck Mating Call, send a dollar to Mr. Foxworthy if you wish. And no, these didn't come from a meme or old email making the rounds: these are my own observations. If you send them on a journey of inboxes, please remember to keep my name attached; it'll be the only payment I receive.

You Know You’re Country If….

You’ve ever fried your clothes dry on the woodstove early in the morning.

Your lunch box contains a can of Vienna Sausage, a little pack of crackers, and a package of Ding Dongs.

SPAM is a special occasion meat, because you’re tired of venison.

You finally have to tell Granny she’s too old for canning because her last batch of peaches now look like radioactive lava lamps on the cellar shelf.

You have to explain what persimmons, gooseberries and blackberries are to visiting relatives, and why these items belong in pies.

You would rather listen to a radio show (yes, they still have them, whippersnappers) than watch reality TV.

You can sniff the wind and know that rain is coming.

Your dryer sheet is a brisk breeze through the pines before it gets to the clothesline.

Your driveway gets rougher in late summer because it’s filled with the green hulls of black walnuts.

The trees in your yard provide more food than most people’s gardens, and you’re willing to share the bounty with neighbors.

In return, your winter woodpile may mysteriously double during your weekly trip to town.

You’ve already walked a mile in another man’s shoes, because most of your footwear comes from the Salvation Army store.

Your toolbox contains at least five things no company makes any more.

When you need medicine, you head out to the woods instead of the pharmacy, so you can make Grandpa’s herbal remedies. No, not that. Hippies.

Tweets and Twitter are literally for the birds, and FaceBook is what happens when Granny catches you with the underwear section of the Sears catalog; see also UpsideTheHeadBook, AcrossTheButtBook, and AnywhereSheCanHitBook. MySpace is what you no longer have if she finds your collection of National Geographics with those tribal pictures.

MicheleT and the Winners

There's a lot of reasons to like Michele Tune, and not just because she hands out free stuff on a regular basis. She's a prolific writer, top-notch blogger, and has the enviable position of always been passionate on whatever subject she's writing about, a true gift for anyone making their living via keyboard. She's survived domestic abuse, obesity, and recent family tragedies to become a strong woman who espouses healthy living and doing the right thing for yourself and others. After being through so much in her life, Michele retains a heartening innocence and charm that makes me want to shield her eyes from the nightly news. She also loves arranging contests on her blogs, so consider this a blatant plug.

Her blogs Healing With Juices and Writing the Cyber Highway always display a positive, sunny yet realistic outlook on life, the universe and everything, but at the same time, her writing is professional and jam-packed with information. She also writes for Raw People and is featured in the new Uncle John's Certified Organic Bathroom Reader. In addition to all that, she offers freelance writing services as well. If my abs were as strong as her work ethic, I'd be wearing belly shirts all year long.

She's on every social network under the sun, quite an accomplishment for someone who lives on an Amish farm. You want 'green' information and news? She's the real thing, baby. Check her out today, network with her, learn from her. You may not win a contest, but you'll definitely win a friend.