Book review: 100 Ghosts by Doogie Horner

The key to great humor is surprise, and 100 GHOSTS: A GALLERY OF HARMLESS HAUNTS is a fun little hardback that satisfies with plenty of clever visuals. While today’s movies and TV shows are jam-packed with enough frights to keep you changing your shorts for a month, this book opens with an introduction to some not-so-scary ghosts. If they go ‘bump’ in the night, it’s probably because they stubbed a ghostly toe. Each long-gone soul receives a graphic and title, from the expected moniker of a classic haunt to the whimsical ghost who just can’t give up performance art. 

I chuckled often while flipping through the book, a rare occurrence for me when it comes to humor. As a humor writer, I’m used to dissecting comedy and studying it, but 100 GHOSTS allowed me to just sit back and enjoy the show. I still can’t decide on my favorites. I relate to Shy Ghost, but my geeky side adores the Fantastic Four Ghosts, R2D2 Ghost and Giant Robot Ghost. In all honesty, though, I’m cursed with The Bad Chinese Food You Ate Before Bed Ghost. 

I love this book, and I can see it being perfect for kids who are afraid of ghosts or what’s under their bed; they could make up stories about each ghost and use the book to defeat their fears. Heck, that's probably how I'll use it myself from now on. 

It would also make a fun gift for anyone interested in the paranormal. It’s a quick read, so if you’re stuck in the van during a ghost hunt, take this with you. Hopefully you won’t spot Up In Your Grill Ghost when you look outside.

100 GHOSTS: A GALLERY OF HARMLESS HAUNTS is written by Doogie Horner (yes, I want to say Howser, too, I bet he gets that a lot) and published by Quirk Books.The book will be released on September 10. Pre-order it now, and spend some time perusing Horner's comedy at his website.

Wayback reading machine

I love plunging into the latest books, but sometimes you can’t beat antique reads. Having a Kindle means I can shop through the ages at Project Gutenberg or Feedbooks’ public domain pages for hours and load down my imaginary shopping cart with free books from generations past. 

Most people travel the broad highway of public domain for the classics like Austen or Shakespeare, but I highly recommend going off-road for a little adventure. I’m always on the lookout for surprises, and my latest squee-gem  is THE EXPERIENCES OF LOVEDAY BROOKE, LADY DETECTIVE by Catherine Louisa Pirkis. Published in 1893, this set of short stories follows the Sherlock Holmes method of mentally working out the mysteries, and is one of the few (for its time) featuring a female detective. The stories are enjoyable and easy to follow, considering that many of the clues relate to the time period. She's a brainy badass, and I love her for it. For a brief read before bedtime, I definitely recommend it.

I’m brushing up on Robert Benchley these days, and I find him just as essential as P.G. Wodehouse or Terry Pratchett for a humor-writing education. You can score OF ALL THINGS and LOVE CONQUERS ALL for free on Amazon. The 1920s-era language may be more subtle than you’re used to for humor, but the topics are remarkably fresh. His struggles to catch the attention of a soda jerk behind the counter ring true with anyone who’s waited in line at Starbucks, and an essay discussing when letter-writing was a youthful fad will instantly make you think of today's social media, especially the fictional letter of a young lady scribbling madly while she's hauled off by a band of cutthroats.

"Not three feet away from me is the odious person before described," his fictional Clarissa says, "Now he is threatening me with renewed vigor!" Hello, Twitter.

The last book on today’s list is a bit of a cheat, since it’s by H.G. Wells, but the title alone makes it worthwhile. LITTLE WARS: A GAME FOR BOYS FROM TWELVE YEARS OF AGE TO ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY AND FOR THAT MORE INTELLIGENT SORT OF GIRL WHO LIKES BOYS’ GAMES AND BOOKS is basically a D&D guidebook for its time, covering tabletop (and larger staged) military gaming. This caught my eye because of the title, and not because it’s too long to tweet. Amid today’s ongoing discussion about girl geeks and gamers, here’s one of the masters of science fiction stating 100 years ago that not only are there girl gamers, they’re smart, too. The book has illustrations, and it’s a nice slice of history for any gamer who’s battled their friends with maps and pewter figures. So hey, Felicia Day? H.G. Wells has your back.

Next up on my wayback reading list: a selection of cheesy, weird and gripping science fiction! Set your phasers to "Whaaa?"

Book Nerd Valentine

I'm not crafty, but I saw this in my head and had to make it real. What could be better than chocolates for Valentine's Day? A heart-shaped tin of books! Like the best chocolate samplers, there's a hidden layer: under Tolkien is a tiny edition of John Grogan's BAD DOGS HAVE MORE FUN, just to throw in some extra sweetness.

Zombie love

You gotta hand it to zombies; they just won’t die. For years I’ve heard that zombies are out, they’re done, any projects featuring zombies are the last pathetic gasps of an unfortunate trend. Yet they shamble on in hordes, eating our brains (and our cash) with new books, movies and games. Why? They’re just so damn versatile. You can have your serious, scary zombie fetish with AMC’s The Walking Dead, or lighten up with something goofy and fun like the new #1 motion picture this week, Warm Bodies. I tend to fall with comedy rather than carnage, but the undead can do it all. 

I visited a couple of bookstores this weekend, and both were awash in zombie culture, from undead bling just in time for V-Day (necklace shown is one I spotted at Hastings) to a staggering number of books, including the Art of War for Zombies. Of course, I’m partial to the Zombie Tarot by author Stacey Graham, but even I was truly impressed by the number of books out there. If there’s an established brand or idea, you can bet your brains that a zombie version is out there. 

How did the craze happen? I’ve heard all kinds of explanations, from the country’s mental state during a post-911 world and undead economy to the fact that zombies make perfect scapegoats in today’s overly politically correct atmosphere. No one complains if you blast a zombie, unless you don’t finish the job, and then all they can say is “Unnnnhhhhh.”

Whatever the reason, it looks like zombies have turned from trend to paranormal mainstay. No matter how you prefer them, either comic, romantic or terrifying, stock up on some undead pop culture while you’re filling the basement with cans of mixed vegetables. At this rate, if the zombie apocalypse actually happens, we’re likely to be unimpressed because we’ve already seen it, read it, and bought the bling.

Truth on the bookshelf

Took this picture at a regional Barnes & Noble store over the weekend. As a long-time Archie Comics reader (quit snickering) this mirrors my own opinion.

A Blast of Bradbury Past

I often check out Internet TV before I fall asleep, but the other night I stumbled across a show from 1963 that woke me right up. The show was “Story of a Writer,” a half-hour episode starring famed author Ray Bradbury. 

This slice of history was better than cupcakes in bed, because not only did it feature a peek at Bradbury in his prime, it’s also a fascinating look at the successful writing life 50 years ago. First, the Bradbury fun.  The episode tried very hard to make Bradbury seem normal, right down to performing magic tricks for the kids. That veneer starts to curl up at the edges when he admits a fear of automobiles, and when he brings his latest short story to his critique group. I have to admit, though, the other man in the group must have had balls of titanium to sit there and tell Bradbury his story was too downbeat, and the death stare Bradbury shot him could have Force-choked Vader himself.

To me, the other star of the show was simply the history.  If Gollum had been a bookworm instead of a jewelry fanatic, he would have wet himself over Bradbury’s home office, packed with books and file cabinets in a dimly lit basement.  The basement has that isolated writerly feel which comes from the pre-Internet years of hoarding research materials and not worrying how the place would look on Skype video chat. It made me remember how the writing business was when I first started sending out poems as a teen in the 1980s, all paper and folders and months or years of waiting. I admit I felt a slight touch of nostalgia when I think back to how much things have changed. Only for a few seconds, though, until I check my e-mail or complete an article assignment without ever having printed out a single page.

Throughout the show, Bradbury worked on a short story called “Dial Double Zero,” ultimately ignoring his critique partners and sending the story off via snail mail to his agent. Yes, he had an agent for short stories, one of two agents for his work. Ah, the magical Sixties. We also get a peek at his other office in Beverly Hills, which looks far less like a twisted Hobbit’s lair than his home office. Perhaps my favorite part, though, is when Bradbury answers questions from young writers during a lecture. Bradbury talks to them about passion and dedication, but what’s the one question every one of them wants answered? How much money they can expect to rake in from writing.

Some things never change.

The episode, “Story of a Writer” by David L. Wolper, can be viewed and downloaded at the Internet Archive. If you’re a writer or a science fiction fan, grab it and enjoy the time warp.

Book Review: Stacey Graham and The Girls' Ghost Hunting Guide

Knock, knock, Boo's there? It's THE GIRLS' GHOST HUNTING GUIDE, a fun and informative book from Stacey Graham. While this book is mainly aimed at kids, I truly enjoyed it, especially the stories about the history of Spiritualism and mediums. (I had no idea that medium D.D. Home performed his otherworldly talents for such people as Napoleon III and one of my favorite poets of all time, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.)

Graham also features profiles of modern-day ghost hunters and mediums, plus urban legends, ghost stories, ghost-hunting checklists, quizzes and activities. Ever wonder how to use a pendulum or find spirits with dowsing rods? Plan ghostly parties with games, movie suggestions and nifty recipes? It's all in there.

If this had been around when I was a kid, it would have received a place of honor on the bookshelf next to all my Nancy Drew books. I would have also been less scared and more informed when I had my own experiences with the paranormal. If you have adventurous children, boys or girls, get this book for them, or you can just get it for yourself, put on your comfy PJs and feel like a giggly 11-year-old again.

THE GIRLS' GHOST HUNTING GUIDE by Stacey Graham is published by Sourcebooks and available in paperback and PDF.