Review: My Lady's Choosing

If you’ve ever read a romance novel and suddenly screamed “Why would she DO that?” you need My Lady’s Choosing by Kitty Curran and Larissa Zageris.  This interactive Regency romance is a wonderful Valentine to the genre, paired with a wicked wink and a throaty chuckle. You are the main character, a penniless lady’s companion to the cantankerous old Lady Craven, and you decide which major decision to make throughout the book in true ‘choose your adventure’ style. 

 Along the way you meet several potential paramours, including the smart, sarcastic Sir Benedict Granville, the mad, bad Lord Garraway Craven, the poor but unbelievably well-built Captain Angus MacTaggart, and the adventurous Lady Evangeline Youngblood. The drama starts, as all good Regency books do, at the ball, and from there you can launch yourself in a multitude of directions. Do you follow hunky war veteran MacTaggart to help the children, or match wits with Sir Benedict? Don't worry, you can do almost all the men in the book, looping your steamy adventures into one wild experience. Of course, you can’t forget Lady Evangeline, either, if you take the right path through Egypt.  The variety of outcomes is truly impressive, including several Happily Ever Afters where you’re the main character, and a few where you’re the sidekick with a boring but sweet life. You can explore gothic or adventure timelines with vampires, werewolves, ghosts and macho desert ruffians or run away with the bad boys. You can even end up unattached with a successful career if you like. And then there’s lovely, awkward Nigel. Hot damn, Nigel!

As you may guess, there are sex scenes here. Some are simple, others are amazing, and many of them made me laugh because of terms like moonlight bouncing off your “womanly orbs” or “being able to make love as tender as it is violent while balancing on one leg and using a bust of John Donne for support.” There’s also a whole paragraph-long sex scene with postal puns, but you should find that one for yourself.  The sex scenes are done with over-the-top descriptive but not vulgar language, and if you’ve read a lot of romances (especially older ones) then these in-jokes are for you.

This is a joyful blast of a book you can read over and over again, never ending up at the same place twice unless you choose to do so. It’s the perfect remedy for any of those maddening books you throw against the wall.

My Lady's Choosing: An Interactive Romance Novel will be available from Quirk Books on April 3.

A free ARC was provided to this reviewer.

Blog Tour Stop: Hillary Rodham Clinton Presidential Playset

Hillary and Bill show the ghost of Jackie O around Arkansas' haunted Crescent Hotel. Even ghosts need a holiday break! The Hillary Rodham Clinton Presidential Playset is available now from #Quirk Books, and it comes with backgrounds, more characters and lots of fun!

Book Review: How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity

Fed up with your day job and ready to let your pet support you? Check out the latest from Quirk Books, HOW TO MAKE YOUR CAT AN INTERNET CELEBRITY by Patricia Carlin. This book is funny, entertaining and frighteningly subversive. Occasionally while reading, I’d say to myself, “Yeah, I could do that.” It’s a tip of the hat to Carlin, who makes this not only funny, but close enough to a Weird Success for Dummies book to sound totally plausible.

The Internet has conditioned us to take in information with cat pictures, and Carlin has taken advantage of that with lots of adorable kitty pictures (by apparent cat whisperer Dustin Fenstermacher) and fake profiles liberally sprinkled throughout the book. It covers everything from getting the best performance from your cat to what to do when your feline becomes a diva and wants to fire you. By the end, I was mentally ticking off my cat’s assets to see if she was Internet material. Uno the Inappropriate Cat already has a title (one of the recommended branding tips in the book) although filming her constantly is more effort than I can muster. But when Carlin suggested where to buy kitty props and costumes, I mumbled “That’s brilliant!” I suspect I’m smack in the middle of her target humor demographic or dangerously close to letting my cat host a pawdcast.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR CAT AN INTERNET CELEBRITY is a fun read, especially if you love cats, the Internet and don't have a 401K for your retirement. If this whole writing thing doesn’t pan out, I’ll probably end up buying a good camera and some tiny funny hats. Uno, show me your best side! Um, Uno, that's a little close. Can you back up...wait...oh, forget it.

Book review: 100 Ghosts by Doogie Horner

The key to great humor is surprise, and 100 GHOSTS: A GALLERY OF HARMLESS HAUNTS is a fun little hardback that satisfies with plenty of clever visuals. While today’s movies and TV shows are jam-packed with enough frights to keep you changing your shorts for a month, this book opens with an introduction to some not-so-scary ghosts. If they go ‘bump’ in the night, it’s probably because they stubbed a ghostly toe. Each long-gone soul receives a graphic and title, from the expected moniker of a classic haunt to the whimsical ghost who just can’t give up performance art. 

I chuckled often while flipping through the book, a rare occurrence for me when it comes to humor. As a humor writer, I’m used to dissecting comedy and studying it, but 100 GHOSTS allowed me to just sit back and enjoy the show. I still can’t decide on my favorites. I relate to Shy Ghost, but my geeky side adores the Fantastic Four Ghosts, R2D2 Ghost and Giant Robot Ghost. In all honesty, though, I’m cursed with The Bad Chinese Food You Ate Before Bed Ghost. 

I love this book, and I can see it being perfect for kids who are afraid of ghosts or what’s under their bed; they could make up stories about each ghost and use the book to defeat their fears. Heck, that's probably how I'll use it myself from now on. 

It would also make a fun gift for anyone interested in the paranormal. It’s a quick read, so if you’re stuck in the van during a ghost hunt, take this with you. Hopefully you won’t spot Up In Your Grill Ghost when you look outside.

100 GHOSTS: A GALLERY OF HARMLESS HAUNTS is written by Doogie Horner (yes, I want to say Howser, too, I bet he gets that a lot) and published by Quirk Books.The book will be released on September 10. Pre-order it now, and spend some time perusing Horner's comedy at his website.

Book Review: Taft 2012 by Jason Heller

Ever wonder how historic politicians measure up to today’s electoral circus? TAFT 2012: A NOVEL by Jason Heller (Quirk Books) tackles that question with an entertaining plot twist, bringing back William Howard Taft from 1913 and plunging him into the bizarreness of 2012. Taft has to navigate social waters he never imagined, from television studio audiences to the proper way of escaping from an impromptu and ill-advised New Year’s Eve celebration underneath a strange woman.

Taft’s journey through a world he never wanted to see is intriguing and reveals much about how politics have changed through the years, and how much they haven’t changed at all. Heller’s side bits of talking heads on television and social media commentary is so spot on, I had to put the book down occasionally. The political fighting in-book gave me the same twitch it does in real life, so kudos to the author for authenticity. He casts a light on the constant, ever-hungry media and its role in politics.

I also liked Taft’s relationship with Irene; to me, that felt more like the heart of the book than his relationships with descendants. I did think the main issue of artificial food was featured too much throughout the book. I love a good running joke as much as anyone, and I understand that issue was used to avoid any of the lightning rod issues that get so many people’s knickers in knots today, but it could have used a lighter touch.

I also wanted to know more about how Taft got here. I was expecting some scientific or mystical group who found a way to boot him from their own century, not that he just fell asleep and nobody noticed some giant dude on the White House grounds for 100 years. While the Rip van Winkle device keeps the reader focused on the politics, a richer plot could have been immensely entertaining as well.

Overall, this is a great book to read in an election year, especially since this year is packed with posturing and never-ending debates. It also makes you wonder how many other historical figures would deftly defend themselves against a plugged-in populace and rabid media if given the chance.

TAFT 2012: A NOVEL by Jason Heller is available in any format you like, including paperback, Kindle and Nook.

Book Review: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Remember all those crazy stories you believed when you were a kid? How would your life change if you found out they were true? Young Jacob finds out that and more in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Ransom Riggs’ debut novel with Quirk Books.

After an early peek into his innocent childhood and his granddad’s stories, we next see Jacob when he’s an unlikable, privileged teen. His rebellion against his life and his parents soon takes a backseat to the murder of his grandfather; the wild stories his grandfather told him when Jacob was little, plus the old man’s cryptic last request, haunt the teen's mind as apparent reality and fantasy fight for control. Riggs knows the troubled teen psyche well, because Jacob’s feelings and thoughts in therapy are spot on, and the “real” world the author builds is so convincing, you’re ready to believe the fantastic when it comes along.

What would normally be a solid paranormal coming-of-age story gets a mighty goose from the book’s gimmick: several real (albeit re-touched or bizarrely posed) photographs from historic collections depicting the characters and situations Jacob encounters. The old pictures have the fantastic element of a 19^th century circus: creepy, unsettling and you can’t look away. A floating girl, twins painted like clowns and connected via a ribbon, a man covered in bees: they connect you visually to the story and add an extra layer of weirdness so you feel just as fascinated and befuddled as Jacob does during his long journey to learn the truth and discover his purpose in life.

I enjoyed this book a lot, and it got the Pratchett treatment from me, i.e., I stayed up until 2 a.m. reading it. I simply could not put it down until I reached the end. It’s a great story that touches on the desire to be special in all of us, something we get to live out through Jacob. I highly recommend it for folks who enjoy a nicely paced, spooky Twilight Zone-style tale. I’m sure this will be the first of many adventures with these characters, so I’ll start catching some catnaps now, if I can just stop imagining those little clown kids. Shudder.