First Friday AW Review: A Life Gone Awry: My Story of the Elan School by Wayne Kernochan

I’ve done a lot of book reviews, but I’ve never read a nonfiction book more painful and eye-opening than Wayne Kernochan’s book. His memories are laid down bare, and the narrative is a staccato, matter-of-fact voice, almost like an old-fashioned light-bulb interrogation in a faded police movie.

The abuse he describes during his years at the Elan school is shocking and sad. I can’t imagine anyone benefiting from beatings, emotional abuse and humiliation, let alone an entire facility thinking this program would be a good idea for teenagers with emotional problems. The description is powerful, and occasionally it literally is blow-by-blow as teens are beaten for hours or forced to fight with each other.

His recollections paint a vivid picture of inmates in charge of the asylum, ramping up the violence through control and frustration. There’s no mention of licensed therapists or other professionals intervening, which should be a chilling thought to any parent.

Even with the epilogue mentioning that the school finally closed in 2011, there doesn’t seem to be a happy ending here, and one would imagine that most of the kids processed through this facility suffer from PTSD at the least. Kernochan himself mentions that he went on to prison afterward.

As for the book’s style, I was a bit lost in the beginning, but that may have been the author’s choice to simulate his own innocence going into Elan. His personal history is mentioned later in the book, but I think it could be even more effective interspersed between the memories of Elan, showing his life before, during and even afterward. All together, it’s a young life torn asunder by ignorance and aggression, recorded for history’s sake by one brave survivor.

A LIFE GONE AWRY: MY STORY OF THE ELAN SCHOOL by Wayne Kernochan is available through Amazon in Kindle format.

First Friday AW Review: From Weakling to Warrior by Jennifer Greenleaf and The Pantry Cleaner by Mysti Reutlinger

It’s a new year and a new beginning to AW First Fridays! Because it’s still resolution season, I’ve picked two nonfiction books to review: From Weakling to Warrior: A Bodybuilding Book by Jennifer Greenleaf, and The Pantry Cleaner: Chemical Free Cleaning by Mysti Reutlinger.

One focuses on fulfilling a dream for yourself and the other focuses on doing something healthy for your family.

I’ll admit it: I don’t know much about bodybuilding. But Greenleaf’s book is perfect for the novice bodybuilder, and includes checklists and instructions on nutrition, exercise, and maintenance. Much of the content is common sense, especially if you’ve been up and down the weight loss path like me. Eat the right things, cut out the junk, and remember above all else to warm up and stay flexible. I also learned that how warm you keep your house can affect your bodybuilding efforts, and proper form in your training is the key to everything. I was impressed at how the author underscores the importance of gathering all the information before making a decision to bodybuild, from the cost of supplements and trainers to how much time and organization will be involved in maintaining those impressive pecs. If you’re thinking about bodybuilding or know someone who wants to do it, get this book for them.

The Pantry Cleaner: Chemical Free Cleaning is an eye-opening book about the products you use every day, and how you get the same or better results with a few time-honored classics. Most cleaners have ingredients that not even a Harry Potter spell-caster could pronounce, and side effects including nausea, skin irritation and even impaired body organs. Reutlinger has included the Material Safety Data Sheets so you can see just how toxic some chemicals can be. Fortunately, the basic cleaning supply list is short and sweet, including ingredients you may already have, from olive oil to baking soda. I’ve used many of these ingredients and techniques myself, and they do work well. The diluted vinegar and newspaper approach for glass cleaning is effective, although I’ll add something so you can learn from my mistake: never do this to a car. Yeah. Not good.

I highly recommend The Pantry Cleaner for anyone committed to living a greener or less toxic life, and I hope that she’ll come out with a sequel soon.

Both books are available at Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle formats.

Three More Free Gifts for Writers

Last year I received great feedback with my Free Gifts for Writers post, so I’m doing it again, with three different ideas.

Let’s face it, money is still tight for a lot of people, especially those whose job description includes the words “starving artist.” Before you grab the glue and spray-paint and turn a few blocks of ramen into bookends, try these suggestions. All of them are guaranteed to draw fewer bugs than glitter-soaked noodles.

Goalbook or Planner

No matter what the genre, writers live and die by the deadline. Make 2012 easier by creating a planner to keep your writer organized. (Hint: if you have kids, this is a great family activity.)

Dig up a 3-ring binder, a hole-punch and some card stock or construction paper for dividers. Print out a calendar for each month or go all the way and print out every week. (Microsoft Publisher will print calendars, and there are tons of free, personal-use calendars on the Net.) Also print out several blank pages with headings like “Goals”, “To-Do” and “Ideas”. Make sure each month has plenty of space to scribble notes, and separate each monthly section with the card stock. Include quotes from his or her favorite authors or other motivational sayings. Decorate accordingly. Just takes a couple of hours and some creativity to make your writer weep like a Barbara Walters interviewee.

E-books

I have a lot of friends who are e-book authors, so let me put this out there: if you can buy an e-book or two (many cost less than three bucks) then please do so. If that’s out of the budget, welcome to the world of free e-books. Project Gutenberg has always been my go-to for great, zero-cash reads because you can find so many irresistible and esoteric books besides the classics everyone claims they read in school. Feedbooks and Smashwords are also great resources, and I’ve found a few new fave authors through them.

Don’t have a smartphone, e-reader or tablet? No worries. You can download books in a variety of formats at Gutenberg and make a file folder on the computer for your giftee. Amazon, Kobo and B&N also offer freebies if you have their particular reader software. Remember, stay legit with your downloading, because good karma is the gift that keeps on giving.

Office Party

Working from home is wonderful, because the dress code runs from casual (Scooby Doo PJs) to extra summer casual (powdering your butt so you don’t stick to the chair). There is one thing writers miss out on, though, and that is the office party. Throw a tiny shindig by your writer’s desk. Bake some cookies, put up a few decorations. Let your writer talk all he or she wants about work: editors, publishers, magazines, etc., and don’t tune it out. Invite a couple of friends or family members over if you want, but it’s more fun when it’s intimate. Keeping it to yourselves also avoids those nasty “crazy people” rumors, too. You’ll be surprised how much it will perk up a writer’s spirits just to talk, laugh and have their own little holiday ritual.

Photo credit: Flickr.com/TMAB2003

Book Review: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

Remember all those crazy stories you believed when you were a kid? How would your life change if you found out they were true? Young Jacob finds out that and more in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Ransom Riggs’ debut novel with Quirk Books.

After an early peek into his innocent childhood and his granddad’s stories, we next see Jacob when he’s an unlikable, privileged teen. His rebellion against his life and his parents soon takes a backseat to the murder of his grandfather; the wild stories his grandfather told him when Jacob was little, plus the old man’s cryptic last request, haunt the teen's mind as apparent reality and fantasy fight for control. Riggs knows the troubled teen psyche well, because Jacob’s feelings and thoughts in therapy are spot on, and the “real” world the author builds is so convincing, you’re ready to believe the fantastic when it comes along.

What would normally be a solid paranormal coming-of-age story gets a mighty goose from the book’s gimmick: several real (albeit re-touched or bizarrely posed) photographs from historic collections depicting the characters and situations Jacob encounters. The old pictures have the fantastic element of a 19^th century circus: creepy, unsettling and you can’t look away. A floating girl, twins painted like clowns and connected via a ribbon, a man covered in bees: they connect you visually to the story and add an extra layer of weirdness so you feel just as fascinated and befuddled as Jacob does during his long journey to learn the truth and discover his purpose in life.

I enjoyed this book a lot, and it got the Pratchett treatment from me, i.e., I stayed up until 2 a.m. reading it. I simply could not put it down until I reached the end. It’s a great story that touches on the desire to be special in all of us, something we get to live out through Jacob. I highly recommend it for folks who enjoy a nicely paced, spooky Twilight Zone-style tale. I’m sure this will be the first of many adventures with these characters, so I’ll start catching some catnaps now, if I can just stop imagining those little clown kids. Shudder.

Campaign for Real Humor

I've been a member of several writing groups through the years, but there's only one I would take up arms for: the Ermas. Okay, Nerf arms. I really hate confrontation. Thanks to the brainstorm of our fearless leader, Stacey Graham, we're whipping up something special for 2012. The official word is because of the Presidential election. I'm thinking it's a back-up plan for survival in case the Mayans were right about 2012.

Anyhoo, here's the top brass:

"An Army of Ermas is gearing up for the upcoming United States presidential election and looking at the crop of candidates we have to choose from so far, we're going to need as much humor as we can get. Thus, the Campaign for Real Humor has begun.

In the next year, your favorite Ermas will be competing for your votes with their posts. It's up to you to vote by liking a post on facebook, linking on websites, leaving comments on their posts, RTing on Twitter and Stumbling your favorites. Who will emerge the victor? Your vote counts!

We'll be kissing babies, and stumping for votes at the upcoming Erma Bombeck Writing Workshop in April, 2012. Come out and say howdy! Most of us don't bite."

I think all the Ermas are hilarious, talented people and I'll be occasionally posting them throughout the year so you, my dear, lone reader, can easily find the best humor writing on the web!

The Geek and the Plaid

You may have noticed that Squiggle isn't updated as often as it *snort* used to be. (Don't look at me like that.) There's a good reason: I post every single day at my new site, Pure Geek, which gives you a geeky holiday for every day of the year!

But don't fret, because I'll be back here in just a few days with a couple of brand new book reviews and the usual silliness. Could even be a giveaway in the works...just sayin....so stay tuned.

Carrot cake to carrot sticks

My bathroom scale and I had a fight this morning. I put up a good defense, even insulted its mother, but in the end I knew it was right. Especially in the end, judging by my shadow. I’ve gained weight. Thanks to a few seasons of unbearable weather, the blessing of steady work and the occasional absence of automotive transportation, my original 100-lb weight loss is now more like a 60-lb loss.

But hey, that’s ok. I took it off once, I can do it again. I’ll also do it more sensibly, and not make really stupid decisions like last time. On my second go-round, I’ve learned a few things:

Good Lord, ignore the commercials. “Follow my simple plan of cookies/bars/shakes and you’ll lose weight!” Yeah, and how does that re-enforce healthy eating habits? Or help me deal with stress eating?

“I’m not this person anymore!” *tears up photo* Honey, lean over here so I can slap the taste out of your mouth. You’re the same person, you just weigh less. If you hate yourself when you’re fat, there’s a good chance you won’t love yourself when you’re skinny.

Don’t diet. This was a major breakthrough for me. Dieting forces you to obsess about food. If you only eat certain things five times a day, you’re always thinking about food. After a couple of weeks, I would dream about food. Just sidle up sideways to better eating by making healthier choices. Occasionally try carrot sticks instead of carrot cake. A few baked chips instead of a bag of regular Ruffles. Don’t think about it, just say “Hey, it’s no big deal. I’ll have a salad just for today.” Keep making changes until your eating plan would make Michelle Obama cry like Miss America.

Realize this is a long-term commitment. Say this out loud to yourself: “There are no easy fixes.” Because there are none. You can get lap band surgery, but if you don’t follow the eating plan, you’ll be right back where you started. You can cut calories, but if you cut too much, your body will kick into survival mode.

Sure, you may fall off the horse, or horse may just buck your big butt off occasionally. Don’t get discouraged. It takes time to slim down, learn better habits and love exercise. In this instant, gotta-have-it-now world, people are so obsessed with losing weight fast. It’s not good for your body, and you don’t get the unbelievable pleasure from every accomplishment along the way. Don’t cheat yourself and miss out on the journey.

See you there.

Photo credit: Flickr.com/puamelia