Thursday, May 11, 2017

KFC's Regency romance is gloriously cheesy

Kentucky Fried Chicken has released their own Regency romance novella for Mother’s Day, because it’s 2017 and nothing makes sense anymore.

Tender Wings of Desire centers on young Lady Madeline Parker, who chickens out of her betrothal to the hunky yet boring Duke of Sainsbury. She has many reasons for doing this, from the fact that he resembles a “vanilla biscuit,” to girl power and wanting to travel somewhere she doesn’t have to embroider babies or pump out useless tapestries for the rest of her days. Something like that, anyway.

Of course she runs away, ending up in The Admiral’s Arms, a tavern that caters to amazingly well-behaved sailors, and meets the mysterious Harland Sanders. In a small show of compassion, Harland isn’t portrayed as an elderly Southern spokeshead in the book; a girl wondering if she’s old enough to marry and her romance with an old Colonel Sanders would be too creepy for everyone involved. Madeline meets him when he’s young, seeing the world, and still yet to inherit the massive American restaurant empire that illogically exists in the Victorian era. Once our headstrong heroine meets Harland, he sticks in the back of her mind like a piece of gristle wedged between her teeth. Eventually feathers fly, drama hatches, and everyone receives a Happily Ever After, even the Vanilla Biscuit Duke.


The plot is painted with large, wide brushstrokes, a winking parody of all those tumultuous romances I read in the 1970s. It’s fun and overblown, never taking itself seriously. My favorite line was “Madeline herself did not mind balls,” which made me snort before I finished the sentence about dancing and all the beautiful gowns. Follow that up with “You are too much. Our Madeline is going to have her hands full with you,” and I was cry-laughing through the rest of the book. Aside from the wicked humor sprinkled throughout, there’s only one sex scene, and it was so subtle I had to read the page three times to make sure they HAD done it, and not just participated in a stellar make-out session. Some news outlets have labeled this a “steamy” read, but they don’t read the same books I do.

While the novella itself may be a light-hearted PR move, KFC’s intentions are not. They know that the romance novel industry is worth $1 billion every year. They also know that Mother’s Day is their busiest day of the year. It’s nice to see them recognize that romance sells, and everyone needs an escape now and then, even if it’s with a bucket of chicken and a free cheeseball read for dessert. Maybe for Halloween, Yum! Brands will give us star-crossed lovers and a werewolf romance in Taco Bell.

**This piece also appeared on The Huffington Post**

Friday, March 31, 2017

4 Books to Wrap Up Women's History Month

You’re a busy person and March is almost over. How many books about women did you squeeze in? If the answer distresses your inner book nerd, don’t worry. Here are four great books packed with history, stories and projects that will inspire you long after the official holiday has passed.

Wonder Women: 25 Innovators, Inventors, and Trailblazers Who Changed History by Sam Maggs

I’ve researched a lot of remarkable women for my own blogs, but Maggs surprised me with a few I hadn’t heard of before. These are 25 profiles of accomplished women who faced tremendous odds, from rocket scientist Mary Sherman Morgan to author and World War II spy Noor Inayat Khan. The selection of women is diverse, and it covers fascinating topics like female spies and thrillseekers in addition to science, invention and medicine. Want to know about female ninjas? She has you covered. Maggs’ writing style is relatable and fun, which keeps the history popping.

Bad Girls of Fashion: Style Rebels from Cleopatra to Lady Gaga by Jennifer Croll

These days, the push for change in women’s careers is through STEM, but Jennifer Croll takes another path, reminding everyone that women have used whatever tools were at their disposal to change the world. This book is fun and fascinating, covering icons from Marie Antoinette to Rihanna and Madonna. For as long as male-dominated society has dictated what women should wear, ladies have rebelled and done their own thing. Amelia Bloomer advocated the right to wear pants in the 1850s, Josephine Baker shed her clothes and became the toast of Europe, and Rose Bertin broke the law by simply owning and operating a women’s clothing shop in 1770s Paris. The book also covers women’s fashion as political statements and shock value; a bright, colorful and inspiring read.


America’s Women: 400 Years of Dolls, Drudges, Helpmates and Heroines by Gail Collins

If you’ve ever doubted that women played a major role in establishing the United States, doubt no more. Rich with detail and mesmerizing stories of strong women, this book is a must-read for every girl and young woman who thinks they can’t accomplish something. Also, feel free after reading this to roll your eyes every time someone mentions “The Scarlet Letter,” because women weren’t demure, delicate little things; they had their own opinions, desires, and work; they ran the household and created everything, including fabric, from scratch. Puritan men often complained that the women in their lives had bad attitudes, while the younger set caroused with the opposite sex and had frequent girls’ nights out. They also ran family businesses, chased tax collectors with boiling water, became preachers and more. The author digs through tons of research and makes each woman and her story come alive.

Crafting With Feminism: 25 Girl-Powered Projects to Smash the Patriarchy by Bonnie Burton

Burton’s book isn’t about history, but it gives you something to do after you finish the first three. The craft projects vary from beginner-level to advanced, so there’s something for everyone to do. Burton also recognizes that feminists come in varying levels of volume and taste, so you can make Peace and Equali-tea Aromatherapy Candles or realistic Vagina Tree Ornaments. The Strong Female Character Prayer Candle is definitely a fun one, even for my own legendary craft klutziness, and one day I will finish my “Emma Watson as She-Ra” candle. It’s a great way to show off your dedication to equal rights and have some fun at the same time.

*This piece also appeared on The Huffington Post*